Drakken: Live!
by Scheherazade the Storyteller
Summary: Welcome to the stand up comedy from everyone’s favourite mad scientist, Dr. Drakken. Come in before the tickets are sold out...If you're anybody who's anybody that is. And what is this junk gotta do with Batman and a thing called Karee?


**Drakken: Live**

**Summary:** Welcome to a stand up comedy from everyone's favourite mad scientist, Dr. Drakken. Come in before the tickets are sold out. I ask of you to please take a seat at the back. We can not guarantee whether or not there will be spitting. No refunds.

* * *

The Middleton Comedy Café was packed tonight, for tonight was Karaoke night! The host walked up to the stage with a grim face, he had to tell the people the bad news. "Welcome ladies and germs, I'm sorry to say that Karaoke night will not be going on for a couple nights because Karee the Karaoke machine was…put down." An 'aww' and a few wails were heard from the audience; the host regained his composure and continued, "However, we decided to have a stand-up comedy night until we find a Karaoke machine that'll remind us of Karee."

Drakken was pacing around at the back stage, worried, he was so excited about Karaoke night but now…was he prepared? He did consider himself funny, though. To stop himself from pacing he sat down, he needed some guidance, a friend to help him. However, the only 'friend' was Shego and she practically 'begged' him not to go, begged, threatened they both meant the same things to her.

He looked out in the audience; there was laughter…that other person must have been funny. Then he heard claps as the man walked off the stage, "Drakken, you're up now." Hurriedly he ran up to the stage, the lights were gleaming down at him. He picked up the microphone, "Um, Er, and Hello. I'm Drakken." He waited for some type of response but all he heard was a few coughs.

"Ok, my first joke starts out like this. Two ropes walk into a bar. The bartender says to the rope. "Hey! We don't serve ropes in here." So one of the ropes left. The other rope frayed up his hair and tied himself in a knot. The bartender said to the rope, "Are you a rope?" and the rope said, "I'm afaid not"

Drakken waited for the laughs, where were they?

"That sucks!"

"We heard that joke a million times!"

"That wasn't even funny!"

"Boo!"

"You're a disgrace to Karee!"

Drakken ignored them and continued, "A termite walks into a barroom and asks, "Is the bar tender here?" He waited for the laughs, "Get it? The termite likes wood and he asks if the bar is tender?"

"We aren't stupid, we know!"

"That sucks even worse!"

"You're a disgrace to Karee!"

"I want my money back!"

The host jumped in randomly and said, "Sorry, no refunds." And drives away in the Bat mobile. Everyone looked at the host leave, "So, is he Batman?" A random man asked.

"Who cares?" Everyone yelled.

Drakken mumbled something and put on a fake smile, "My next joke is why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms!"

"Now that's just cruel!"

"What are you trying to do? Make us cry?"

"Boo!"

"You're a disgrace to Karee!"

"What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car." Drakken said, "Wait, well. It's not a joke, its actual logic."

"Duh!"

"That wasn't even a joke!"

"I know that! I just said so!" Drakken yelled to the audience.

"You're a…"

"Disgrace to Karee, I know." Drakken said wearily.

"This is my last joke…"

"YAY!"

"Can you let me finish?" he asked.

"3 old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three?

"274," was his reply. The doctor says to the second man "It's your turn. What is three times three?"

"Tuesday," replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "OK, Your turn. What's three times three?"

"Nine," says the third man. "That's great." Says the doctor. "How did you get that?" "Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

"Huh?"

"That's just confusing!"

"Boo."

"Get off the stage."

"You're a disgrace to Karee!"

Drakken could no longer take it anymore! "I'm not a disgrace to Karee, Karee was our friend. Sure, she was a Karaoke machine, but she was there for us. When we were sad it gave us happy songs to sing, and when we were happy she would go all out with the hottest songs. She never said anything bad or makes fun of us, she just sat there and let us go with the flow. It's you that are the disgraces of Karee, we should remember her fondly, not break the rules of the Karee way. Tonight, I'm here to say to Karee, even though you're not here, I will remember you!"

Everyone cheered for Drakken, he smiled. As he walked outside he looked for his hovercraft. Sadly, he couldn't find it. So he walked 'home', however, he was stopped by the Bat mobile. The host jumped out, "You want a ride?" Drakken nodded.

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So, that's the end of Drakken stand up performance. Please review. 


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